Chattie Baranowski

This puts things in the true perspective!!

Funny how $100 "looks" so big when you take it to church, but so small when you take it to the mall.

Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour, but how quickly a team plays 60 minutes of basketball.

Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church are, but how short they are when watching a movie.

Funny how we can't think of anything to say when we pray, but don't have difficulty thinking of things to talk about to a friend.

Funny how we get thrilled when a baseball game goes into extra innings, but we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time.

Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the Bible, but how easy it is to read 100 pages of a best selling novel.

Funny how people want to get a front seat at any game or concert, but scramble to get a back seat at church services.

Funny how we need 2 or 3 weeks advance notice to fit a church event into our schedule, but can adjust our schedule for other events at the last moment.

Funny how hard it is for people to learn a simple gospel well enough to tell others, but how simple it is for the same people to understand and repeat gossip.

Funny how we believe what the newspaper says, but question what the Bible says.

Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven provided they do not have to believe, or think, or say, or do anything.

Funny how you can send a thousand 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing.


Are you laughing?

Are you thinking?

Spread the Word and give thanks to the Lord for He is good!

Funny isn't it when you go to forward this message how many on your list are not receiving it because you're not sure they believe in anything?


To the world you might be one person, but to one     person you might be the world."         "Going to church does not make you a Christian   anymore than going to McDonald's makes you a     hamburger."         "Real friends are those who, when you feel you've   made a fool of yourself, don't feel you've done a     permanent job."       "A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and   decides to remain anonymous."       "Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the           same side."         "I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to."         "Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to         the town gossip."       "People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross."         "Life is 10% of what happens to you, and 90% of how you respond           to it."           "Did it ever occur to you that nothing occurs to God?"         "Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and         sometimes you weep."     "Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to         make them all yourself."           "There are two things I've learned: There is a God.         And, I'm not Him!"       "Following the path of least resistance is what takes rivers and         men crooked."         "Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach         of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you are         beyond the need of God's grace."         "When it comes time to die...make sure that all you have left           to do is die."         "Death is only the end of dying; not the end"
Christmas Postcards
Take a beer and send the truck to all of your friends!!!!!!

    |^^^^^^^^^^^^^| ||__     | B u d w e i s e r | ||'|"\,_     |_..._...______===|=||_|__|..,]     "(@)'(@)"""""|(@)(@)**(@)*I

    25 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...     1. It's an incentive to show up.     2. It reduces stress.     3. It leads to more honest communications.     4. It reduces complaints about low pay.     5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.     6. Employees tell management what they think, not         what management wants to hear.     7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.     8. It encourages carpooling.     9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a     bad job, you don't care.     10. It eliminates vacations because people would     rather come to work.     11. It makes fellow employees look better.     12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.     13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when     they are wasted.     14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.     15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so     embarrassing.     16. Employees work later since there's no longer a     need to relax at the bar.     17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.     18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've     had a couple of drinks.     19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk     on their lunch break.     20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss     naked.-SCARY!!!!     21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.     22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.     23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.     24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be     seen as "gross."     25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common.

Monkeypee   Crapomatic