W   H   Y   ?


Questions and answers
Invading our mind
Poetic cancers
We search but can't find

It all boils down
To that man's curious
And one wrong answer found
Makes us so furious

What if no answer's found
To the questions that plague
That mean no answers around
So discard in a bag?

Or, just maybe, it's cuz
We look for answers in ways
Searching for happiness does
Not mean the answer's okay

And what if we don't find an answer to the questions that plague our minds? Is it because there isn't an answer or is it because we look for answers in the ways we think would make us happy? I think people tend to try to reason and live out the answer they believe they have. After all, we are rational beings aren't we? But there will always be questions that one would never say 'yes! I'm certain this is it'. No. I have asked things I, and no one for that matter seem to have answers, none that at least make me go away feeling happy about it. And so I ask you.. do you ever ask yourself why you go through life the way you do? Why do you exists? To struggle through getting a degree or earning big bucks? Is there more to life than what we know of it? The pressures, the people, the nightlife and all? Think about September the 11th. All the hype of it. The wars, the poverty, the dead. So what if we in Cardiff are safe and seemingly uninvolved?     I'm not going to ask you here about what you think, what you feel about everything. Instead I want to share with you my questions and my answers that kept me satisfied time after time. I remember when I was a kid, I used to ask myself...   Then you realise the answers 'adults' tell you are: they are just blue.. no reason why. And you see your mom and dad murmur and mutter something beneath their breath. 'sheesh'. Then after a while I asked other questions as I got to school.. And so on.. And now as I've reached a point into adulthood, I ask questions like       And of course, when I don't think of these.. I ask...     Why is the sky blue? Why do people say water's blue? Are there blue roses? Why do I have to struggle so hard to get a degree? Do I need one? Why must I conform to the patterns of this world? Everyone's pressured to get a good job, find a partner, settle down, buy a house... and if you don't have that, what happens? And if you do, what happens next? Why is there poverty? Why is the so called 'corporate power' taking over people's lives? Why do some have it easier and others don't? Why is there war? Why must people die? Why do I feel lonely and without friends at times? Why must my boyfriend hurt me so much? Why do my parents not seem to understand? Why.. why.. Do Man come from monkeys? Why is my nose flatter than others? How do you have sex?    I know some of you may shrug it off. Oh yeahyeah... I heard that one... All I can say is you've got nothing to lose anyway. It's true. In my life, so many things have failed me, broken relationships, failed efforts... It's not just people who fail you, sometimes you find that you fail your ownself. You think you're somebody, that if you put in your own efforts, you'll make it. It's not true. Something I've learnt along my Christian walk is that now that I have Jesus, He is my every answer. It doesn't mean I'm a perfect person now, I do everything so-called 'right'.. no. I still go through life with trials and 'failures', but at least I know the purpose there is for me here. And in falling down all the time, I know I'll never stay down and be defeated. no.. I can stand up again because I have Jesus. There are times I sit all alone in my room, crying my heart out because things don't seem to go my way, the way I think is what I need and what is best for me.. and that is the time Jesus comes and gives me a hug and says that life isn't all about that.. not the certs, not the relationships, not friends.. It's about Him. And me. Life is only but a phase. I know it all sounds so idealistic. I studied sociology, and one social theory that I learnt that seemingly made sense is man needs to have the answer and being spiritual is the way out because that is no specific, scientifically proven answer. And it's a another means of hoping for something better. I believed in that a while, and tried to do it on my own merits. I'm smart, I'm a good person.. I thought. But the thing that changed me is when the moment came, and I knew I knew.. it's not the spiritual bit, having Jesus in my life is having a relationship with Him. It's not about going to church, or saying yes I'm a Christian... You know it when He comes into your life. One thing I know I'm not good at is being convincing. I'm not very good with my words, and I'm don't know the bible at the back of my hand. But one thing I could say is.. you have got nothing to lose anyway. Why not 'taste and see that the Lord is good'? Maybe you'll see a change.